It’s Not About You (Part 1)

• November 26th, 2007
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An important concept that I think hinders many of us in our attempts to talk to new potential customers (and team members) is that it’s not about us. It’s all about them. We tend to let ourselves get in the way. When we worry about how someone will react to us, we are really thinking about how that will affect us. I have changed my train of thought and projected it onto how she will benefit from trying MK, the fun to be had at an appointment, etc. If she says no, fine. And then I will ask, no not now, or no never? I want to be clear. No doesn’t always mean never. Sometimes it means not right now. If we ask, they will tell us. What we need to do is take ourselves out of the equation. How do we take ourselves out of the equation? What does that really mean? My interpretation is this: When I’m talking to someone, I can determine based on their demeanor if she is someone I would want to have as a customer. I have to look beyond what I want, though. Sure, I would love a new customer, who wouldn’t? But what I have to do is forget about what I want and think about how she might benefit by being my custoemr. Does this make sense? By talking to her, I’m reaching out to her about a product I believe in. I have experienced positive results from Mary Kay skin care and I want to share that with her. So, I offer her my card. It’s partially about me gaining a new customer, but it’s more about sharing a quality product with a friendly acquaintance. If she says no, then I’m not offended. She just doesn’t want what I’m offering. It’s OK. But if I never asked, I would never know. Maybe she’s having trouble finding a product she’s happy with. I don’t know that unless I ask. I also need to take myself out of it by overcoming the fear and worry I may feel that she will reject me. And what if she rejects me harshly? So what do we do if we approach someone and they are, let’s say, less than supportive? Is that our fault? Were we too pushy? The answer is: who knows? And who cares? I don’t say that to be insensitive, but, if I mention Mary Kay to someone and she decides to barage me with negativity in a blatant attempt to hurt my feelings, is that about me? No. Guess what, that’s still about her–especially if I have acted ethically and cordially. If she has a need to act that way, that’s a personal problem; not my problem. It’s hard to think about it that way. I have a tendency to take things personally, but at my day job, I talk to mean nasty people all day long. All I do is provide them with information. Unfortunately, I’m usually giving them information they don’t want to hear. If they don’t like it, that isn’t my problem and if they want to go so far as to try to insult me or threaten me on the phone, that’s also on them. Now, everyone I talk to isn’t unpleasant, but I have learned there are some people who are going to be rude no matter how nice you are to them. That is why it’s not about me. This is another reason why I love Mary Kay so much. I have not encountered anyone so unpleasant in my MK experience that made me want to never try again. My day job motivates me to become a director. Which brings me to another point … Who am I to say that someone I’m talking to doesn’t feel as unhappy in her job as I do in mine? This is how this concept applies to team building. I think it’s even more important in team building than in selling to think of her and remove myself from the picture. I’m going to continue this thought in Part 2 …

Tags: Business Building, Communication, Customer Base, NaBloPoMo, Networking, Team Building